Thursday, October 18, 2007

I just saw possibly the most disturbing commercial EVER on TV.

It's for a remote control Thomas the Train set. The kid's controlling this train as it goes around the tracks. Then it comes to the tunnel.

"Should he go through the tunnel?" The train goes halfway in.

"Or maybe not." It pulls out.

"Wait, let's have him go through!" It goes further in.

"Back up, Thomas!" Pulls back out.

"Yay!" Goes all the way through and keeps going.

What. THE FUCK. Am I just a dirty-minded fellow? Or does the image of a train going in and out of a tunnel again and again seem rather . . . suggestive?


It has come to my attention that Josh has posted quotes from me that make me sound . . . questionable. Perhaps somewhat, I dunno, prejudiced.

I could defend myself. I could say I have a deep appreciation for other peoples, other cultures.

But you and I, dear reader, we both know that's not true. I'm an utter misanthrope. Rather than granting me flight or x-ray vision, they above chose to bless me with rancor and bitterness towards mankind.

But in a cheerful way.


Also, we've changed the location of our wedding. It was suggested we do it out by Demosthenian Hall, 'cause Rock for Barack is taking Myers Quad (even though THEY definitely weren't invited to interrupt this ceremony).

Because of disputes between my fiance and I over who gets which bridesmaids or groomsmen, we intend to have our Best Man and Maid of Honor pick teams, dodgeball style.


Um. Our neighbors across the hall are weird. John just came back from showering. They were both down there showering (in separate stalls). Apparentley, as they were leaving (together), John swears he heard one say, "Wait, I forgot the lube."



Last night we carved pumpkins for Demosthenian, and I had the thought (which I couldn't help but remark) that I'd love to be a brain surgeon if it was like pumpkin carving.

"You see, Doc, it's just these awful headaches."

"I see."

"Is there anything you can do?"

"Why sure. I'll cut a hole in the top of your skull, muck out the contents with a big plastic spoon, then carve a smiley face in the back of your head."

"Um . . . will that make the headaches go away?"

"Almost certainly. Nurse, get the candles."

Tonight we new members are called upon to defend the Hall. I shall garb myself in black, and arm myself with pens (in case they attack with swords). And I'm thinkin' war paint. If we do that, I'monna be a kitty cat!


It occurs to me that nuptials sounds dirty. Next time I go to a wedding (other than my own), I intend to say this to the groom at the reception:

"I seen your wife's nuptials. They'm real pretty. I watched 'em for hours. Wanna see mine? We made us a tape."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

U my friend r an awful individual....